“A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance,” Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NLT).
The Tears.
It was September 9, 1988. My life as I had known it would never be the same. The day began like every other morning. I had just returned to work after being off two days with the flu. I was a little over seven months pregnant, so I had been really sick those couple of days. At the time, I was working as a secretary at a law firm in Columbus, MS. A best friend of mine, Merita (our pastor’s daughter), was a secretary at another business in town, so it didn’t seem unusual when I answered the phone and heard her voice. As soon as she asked me if I was at work, something sank inside me. I had “that feeling,” the feeling that something was wrong. I tried to shrug it off with a sarcastic remark, “Well, yeah, I’m at work. How else would I be answering my work phone?” She said, “We will be there in just a little bit. I need to talk to you.”
I hung up the phone and instantly went into denial. I knew something was wrong, but I did not want to acknowledge it. Twenty excruciating minutes later, I heard the office door bell ring, and I walked into the front office. There stood my pastor with tears in his eyes. I immediately turned around and walked away from him into the other room. I guess I was thinking, “If I don’t talk to him, then I won’t have to hear what he is going to tell me; therefore, my life will be just fine.” Wow...the things that go through our mind, huh?
A few minutes later, Merita walked in, and then my boss, Pastor and Merita escorted me into my boss’ office and began to tell me there had been an accident. My dad and mom, who were going to be coming to my house that evening, were on their way to their business and were hit head-on by an individual that had a heart attack. I knew immediately—before they even told me—that my mom was gone. I reacted by saying, “This is not supposed to be happening!” Immediately, I began to beat the chair I was sitting in, screaming “NO, not my momma!!!!” Just a couple of days before, we were all together celebrating Labor Day, having a BBQ and playing horseshoes. I was seven months pregnant and about to have my first baby.
I suddenly realized they didn’t say anything yet about my dad, so I asked about him. All they could tell me was that they were not sure about his condition, but they knew he was on his way to the hospital. I found out later that I had also lost my dad, but thankfully they were able to get him back.
Fast forward. On October 16, 1988, I received one of the greatest gifts in my life as my daughter Lebriska was born. But in the meantime, the house I lived in since I was 9 years old—which was also home to almost all of my mom’s belongings—burned to the ground! I became very angry... angry at God. I was mad! I was done! I got in our vehicle and told my husband Eddie that I had no idea what I was going to do, but I needed to leave. I cranked up the car and immediately a song from a cassette tape (Yeah, that speaks my age!) began to play. Here are the words I heard:
I can go to the Master
He always listens
He welcomes my plea
Because He cares about me
He won’t overlook my petition
He’s standing above
He’s watching in love
He’s waiting my burdens to bear
He’s got time for you
And a place for me too
I can go to the Master in prayer
I immediately put my head on the steering wheel and cried. Wow, how could I quit on God?! After all, He thought so much of me that He would take time to speak to me through a song—right there in my driveway in Booneville, MS.
The Antidote: Laughter.
I have been through so many rough “life experiences.” It’s been over 21 years since that dreadful day when I was given horrible news. There have been times that I have missed my mother so badly, and even cried and longed for the feeling and warmth of her arms to just wrap themselves around me one more time.
One of the best ways I have discovered to help me make it through the circumstances in my life is laughter! No wonder it says in Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” It certainly has been like a medicine to my mind, soul and body. I love how Dorothy Dix puts it, “There isn't a single human being who hasn't plenty to cry over, and the trick is to make the laughs outweigh the tears.”
Now I’m not talking about going through life laughing and acting as though nothing bad is happening, but I am saying to take Ecclesiastes 3:4 to heart: Know that there absolutely is a time to cry, a time to grieve, but there is also a time to laugh and dance! Crying and grieving is absolutely essential to your healing, but so is laughing. And that is awesome, because if you know me at all, you know how much I LOVE LAUGHTER!!!
According to www.helpguide.org, laughter is good for your health:
- Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
- Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
- Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
- Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.
A time to cry... A time to laugh.
A few tears quotes:
- “The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.'” — Billy Graham
- “Delicious tears! The heart's own dew.” — Letitia Landon
A few laughter quotes:
- “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” — Author Unknown
- “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” — Kurt Vonnegut
- “It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.” —Wayne Dyer
Prayer:
God, I thank You so much for all that You have done in my life. Your never-ending love for me is more than I understand. Even though there are life-experiences I must go through in my life, You do not leave me to go through them on my own. God, there have been so many times I have climbed up in Your lap just to lay my head on Your chest because my pain was so overwhelming. But You held me and comforted me—You were there. Today God, I pray that if there is someone who needs laughter to soothe some heartache that he or she is going through right now, help them to cry, to smile, to laugh and to be comforted by You. Amen.
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